Episode 06: Let’s Talk About Raising Kids with Love and Logic

Lets Tall Podcast

Being a parent is one of the most intricate and important relationships that we’ll ever have.  That the other end of the relationship are people who are constantly evolving and changing makes it even more challenging.  What if there was a philosophy that could guide us through the evolutions in a way that fosters connection and trust while building independence? We’re going to explore the answers to these questions and more with Cassandra Doran of Provident Financial Consultants and Jen DiMatteo of Parent Connection, a program of Family Services of Northeast Wisconsin!

Supplemental articles and resources mentioned in this podcast can be found on gooshkoshkids.com

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Meet our Guests

Jen DiMatteo
Parent Education Program Coordinator with Parent Connection, a program of Family Services of Northeast Wisconsin. 

Passionate about supporting parents, Jen has been working with families in the Fox Valley and Oshkosh for the last decade. From poverty and addiction to child protection and family strengthening, she feels passionate about building knowledge, skills, and connection with parents for their families. Jen plans parent education workshops and presentations, offering research and evidence-based curriculum that is relevant to the needs of families. She is a certified trainer through the University of Wisconsin Milwaukee and trained to lead Love and Logic, Positive Parenting, and Cooperative Co-Parenting curriculum.  

She is also a mom of two sons. She understands the challenges other parents face, and can relate to the same questions and concerns many in our community have.  

Cassandra Dorn, CFP

Financial Consultant, Provident Financial Consultants

Cassandra is a certified financial planner professional. With a love for finance and helping others, Cassandra knew at a young age that she wanted to follow in her father’s footsteps and become a financial consultant. Cassandra is passionate about and deeply involved in the Oshkosh community. She is actively involved in the Women’s Fund Grant Committee of the Oshkosh Area, the Paine Art Center and Gardens, Women in Management, and the Oshkosh West Side Association.

Meet our Hosts

Amanda Chavez, Owner & Creative Director, WiscoFam / Go Valley Kids / Go Oshkosh Kids
Born and raised in Appleton, Wisconsin, Amanda Chavez has a deep love for her community. As a busy mom of 2 little girls, she and her husband are always on the lookout for fun things to do and share with others. Her work combines all of her passions – motherhood, design, and community. Some of her other interests also peak through as well, including baking, photography, and sewing!

Karlene Grabner, Executive Director, Women’s Fund of the Oshkosh Area Community Foundation
Karlene Grabner is a graduate of Lourdes Academy and the University of Wisconsin-Oshkosh, where she studied finance and economics. She has shared her knowledge and passion for improving the Oshkosh community for the past 20 years through her work at the Oshkosh Community Foundation and Women’s Fund of Oshkosh. Karlene loves playing board games with her family, and when the weather is right, you’ll find them enjoying boating, wakeboarding, and kayaking with their dog, Bago.

Special Thanks

Liz Schultz, ProducerWiscoFam / Go Valley Kids / Go Oshkosh Kids

Marlo Ambas, Audio & Video Engineer, Ambas Creative


Amanda Chavez  00:00

Hello and welcome to Let’s Talk, the show that connects families in Oshkosh with local experts to talk about your parenting questions. I’m Amanda Chavez here with my co-host, Carlene Grabner. And today, we’re talking about raising kids with love, logic, and a scoop of financial literacy.

Being a parent is one of the most intricate and important relationships that we’ll ever have. On the other end of the relationship are people who are constantly evolving and changing and making it even more challenging. What if there was a philosophy that could guide us through the evolutions in a way that fosters connection and trust while building independence? How do we build that relationship and transition our kids to independence with a solid foundation to manage their adult lives and money successfully? We’re talking about it today with Jen Dimatteo and Cassandra Dorn.

Karlene Grabner  00:48

Well, thank you for joining us today. Cassandra and Jen. Jen, would you like to tell us a little bit about yourself?

Jen DiMatteo  00:54

Absolutely. I work with Parent Connection, which is a program of Family Services of Northeast Wisconsin. I run their parent education program. But I’m also a mom, I have two kids. I live in the Appleton area. And I really love working in the community and with people and families.

Karlene Grabner  01:16

Wonderful. And Cassandra?

Cassandra Dorn  01:18

I am a Certified Financial Planner with Provident Financial Consultants in Oshkosh. I love my job, I help people reach their goals, hopefully, right. That’s everybody, they come and see me and we talk about you know, where they are financially and where they want to be or where they want to go. I’m also a mother of three, which keeps me equally busy. I feel like all I do is run around. But it brings me great enjoyment. And I was once told that you will miss spending time in the car, because that’s when you have the best conversations. And as my kids are growing up, I’m finding that’s very true.

Karlene Grabner  01:54

I echo that I went part-time, not really part-time, but reduced hours five years ago, because people call it windshield time. And it was like when I picked my kids up from school, it’s when everything came out like that first 10 to 15 minutes.

Amanda Chavez  02:06

We also like when they were little laid down with them in bed. And I remember some people being like, “Don’t lay down with your kids.” But that’s where everything came out, the lights are out. And then all of a sudden to shift like all sudden you’re done with that stage. And I miss it a little bit, even though in those days where it’s like, oh, I need to stay up and work longer, and I fall asleep with them in bed. But I do miss those days. Send me on to the next chapter. But thanks for joining us today. Jen and Cassandra. We’ll take a quick break and then we’ll be back to talk about love logic, money and the huge job of parenting with Jen and Cassandra.

Karlene Grabner  02:42

Let’s Talk is brought to you through Go Oshkosh Kids partnership with the Women’s Fund of Oshkosh. The Women’s Fund of Oshkosh works to improve the lives of women, girls and families of the communities in Winnebago County through philanthropy grant making and education.

Amanda Chavez  03:00

Jen, can you give us the nutshell version of the ideas behind the philosophy of Parenting with Love and Logic?

Jen DiMatteo  03:07

Absolutely. In a nutshell, Love and Logic is a parenting approach. That is teaching through role modeling, responsibility, respect, dignity, for our children, with the idea that they’re not always going to live with us someday they’re going to be on their own. And we want to make sure that they have the skill set and capability to to manage it without hitting too many challenges.

Karlene Grabner  03:39

One of the I did take Love and Logic, like 10 years ago, and we sponsored Love and Logic through the Women’s Fund multiple times, because we thought it was really important to parenting class. But one of the things I found fascinating was the conversation about family contributions, as opposed to allowances or chores of using the word family contribution. And that’s kind of how I come into the money aspect of working with my kids. What are your thoughts on that? Cassandra, have you heard that term? Or Jen, like, have you? You know, what are your thoughts behind family contribution as opposed to allowances or chores?

Cassandra Dorn  04:16

It’s a topic in every household. You know, how do you do this? It was a big topic of conversation with my husband and I grew up with, you know, family contributions versus men allowance and he grew up the other way he got paid to do his chores. So when we had kids and decided which way we were going to go, he was adamant for them to have an allowance and I was adamant that they shouldn’t. And so after many discussions, we kind of met in the middle of everyday chores like making your bed and when mom or dad is in the kitchen and doing dishes you can jump up and help to because then you know if we’re going to watch a show or do something together afterwards, it gets us to that end goal faster. But then when my daughter was old enough to baby set When she’s giving up going to the movies, let’s say on a Friday night, because we would like her to babysit, that’s where we will pay her. We do set expectations for that. So she knows what needs to be met in order for her to get paid. And then of course, we always have to make sure we have the cash on hand to meet our financial obligations to her in our promises. And that’s really important, I think with kids is teaching them a balance, you know, you’re not going to get paid for everything you do in your life. But when you have to give something up, maybe there is financial compensation there.

Jen DiMatteo  05:32

I completely agree. Personally, and through Love and Logic, I believe in practice with my own kids, what we’re adding to the house is a shared impact. We all impact each other, I don’t get paid to do the dishes—neither should my children. So everything that we’re adding to the household to keep things functioning, is really helping the entire family, which is also then building on life skills, you’re, you’re accountable to your family, you’re accountable to yourself, you learn how to take care of your possessions and to have respect for the things that you have. But then also on the Love and Logic side of it. It’s also teaching that you have value that you’re adding value to your family. And that’s a lesson that a lot of kids aren’t learning. So ideas of work ethic and things like that, that you hope that they have, when they’re older, they get to learn that in the household by contributing to the family.

Amanda Chavez  06:39

I think as parents, sometimes I think, oh would just be faster for me to finish the dishes or dry them and taking that extra time to involve them in those. It does take more work, right? But that’s having that insight reminds me that I should do that too.  

Karlene Grabner  06:58

Like when you unload the dishwasher, and then you have to redo it all when they walk away from the…

Cassandra Dorn  07:04

and you’ll see that there’s still food on some of the dishes, and yeah,

Karlene Grabner  07:09

…but it’s the act I like you said work ethic teaching that kind of stuff is the act of doing it. Another thing I remember so vividly learning about Love and Logic, which I struggle with in my mind is the facts, like I think the example was a child had broken his neighbor’s window. And the parents were guided to make sure they took the money from the child’s savings or, you know, whatever, to replace the window, which to me, I think is super smart. But then I always have this parent moment in my mind going, I’m gonna buy him whatever he needs anyway. So now we took that money out of there, I guess, what’s the philosophy on what are they trying to? What are we trying to teach them there? What are they trying to instill in them?

Jen DiMatteo  07:50

It cause an effect, really, so I did an action that caused financial damage to somebody else’s property. I as an adult, I’m going to be responsible to pay for that damage. My child should have to learn that lesson. While it’s still manageable, so a broken window, what I mean, what does that cost, let’s just say $500, I don’t know, they’re not going to necessarily have $500 to pay for the window. But I can cover it. And now that child owes me $500, I don’t expect them to, you know, be like an indentured servant. But then it becomes a conversation of what can you do to earn extra money, or to use your time to pay me back for what I covered for you. And it is teaching that sense of, of the cause and effect, what I do matters. What I do does affect other people and things.

Cassandra Dorn  08:52

And I think it’s also it speaks volumes that you have your kids back, right, I’m going to help you, but I need your help as well. Because, you know, essentially, this was due to you. And I’m going to support you in every way I can which means I’m going to pay for the window. But you know, that money came out of our family’s funds. And so now you need to contribute to help bring that back.

Amanda Chavez  09:16

Parenting is hard, right? Like and and we’re talking about money issues and discipline and, and a relationship right and it’s always changing. But we always want to have that connection with our kids and I like how you said it Cassandra and I use it to Jen like, having like you always have your kids back. Right. And whether that’s I don’t know paying for something on a smaller level or or like shared contribution to like, for those things that are on there like wishlist, but yeah, like how do we talk about providing a discipline and guidance to our kids to help their personal growth and maintain that strong relationship?

Cassandra Dorn  09:58

And I think what Jen said about sitting them down and talking to them about what happened with the window and, you know, paying for it, and what can can can you contribute, it’s just showing that families, you know, families are there to help each other and to build growth and trust, and it’s opening the conversation to, yes, there was an accident or an error, you need to come and talk will have your back. But you also have to realize that there are repercussions, that’s a very negative word, which we shouldn’t probably use, but I can’t think of another one right now. To that to help, you know, show that you’re invested in the family as well.

Jen DiMatteo  10:36

And that’s very much what logic, what Love and Logic is talking about is we talk a lot about natural consequences. So consequences is a great word for that. We hear it, I hear it all the time, as an adult, we talked about it in Love and Logic, and with a lot of parenting classes, I do that letting kids learn from their natural consequences, is the greatest gift that we can give our kids. And that kind of goes into that idea of discipline. So you know, discipline is really the structure that we’re all living in, right, the rules that we follow. And if we go outside of those rules, or if we break the rules, if we cause damage or hurt to another person, we then have to pay the consequences, however great or small, that is, whether it’s financial or emotional. So building connection, as a parent, that parent-child relationship, you’re there to help them understand. Like, what do you think happened? How do you think that you can, you can make this better? What can you do to change the outcome of this? And you literally walk alongside that kiddo. And you let them find their way, and you’re building their confidence, you’re building their life experience. And they’re really going to come out of it with this sense of understanding and responsibility for what they did and how they impact the world around them. And mistakes are like letting our children make mistakes is one of the greatest gifts that we can give them. So they have something to learn from.

Amanda Chavez  12:18

You give us a smaller example scale, I guess we got the postcard in the mail yesterday or the other day, that we had a library book that was missing, and it was past due. And if we didn’t return it in the next two weeks, we would have to pay for that book. And I think that my kids got that at first. I mean, we I’ve told them before that book was late, we need to find it. But now there was an attached bill to this book that if we didn’t find that, that that we had to pay for this book for $20. And they found it really quickly. Because that was something they didn’t want to take out of their their money but versus that when broken window, but finding value in other people’s things or when you’re borrowing other people’s things. We’re also at the age where my kids are asking like, everything like what does this cost? What does this cost? How much did our house cost? How much? What did this cost? What did you have to do to get a house? How much do you make an hour like, all those questions are coming out like, well, you make that much in an hour, I’m only making this much when I’m doing this. Those concepts are really big in our house right now. And my kids are too little right now to have a job. But they are motivated by money. We had asked on our Facebook page if people did allowances or chores and a couple of people said that their kids aren’t motivated by money. And I think that came back to you because Cassandra like when you said all kids are different. My kids are very motivated by money and buying things. And I think with the holidays, they want to buy gifts for other people too. And we struggle with finding that balance right? Like how do they get that money then if if they want to save up for something or just stuff? Well,

Cassandra Dorn  13:59

I have an answer for you know, talking about money and what do you earn versus you know what other people earn a great example of this, you know, I don’t want to exactly tell my kids how much money I make. That’s that’s pretty personal. But we hire babysitters, and my daughter, like I said earlier is starting to babysit and she wants asked how much we pay our summer sitters. And I told her very point blank and it was significantly higher than what we allow her to charge other families and what we pay her and we sat down and we said well listen, here are our summer sitters skill sets. Driving is a big one. And you don’t drive. And so therefore, you know the parents have to drive you around and that’s a cost to them where our babysitter drives you guys around and that saves us time in our gas so we have to pay her a little bit more because she incurs a little bit more cost to just even come to our house and watch you. And so that helped her understand how people get paid different amounts. And it was very basic, but it hit home to her, she has started helping us cook, because that was another thing we talked about is, you know, you just make a pizza, you don’t use the stove. And, you know, if you want to start being able to provide maybe healthier meals to these children, and that’s a positive for parents, you have to learn how to cook and how to responsibly use a stove. And so that also helped us because she’s now helping more in the kitchen, in the kitchen.

Karlene Grabner  15:35

So it’s kind of like value added. Family can sometimes lead to value added to your pocket pocket. Yeah, right. I have a question that I don’t know if it’s love or logic or any of the above. But I know when when my children were born, the big thing was the Savings Bank of give spent save. And I guess I just I’ve always wondered is, is there a magic in that? And if there’s a magic in like, is it a third, a third, a third, like the piggy bank is broken up to or? And I guess the second part of my question with that is, how do we teach our kids? You know, how fortunate they are in the especially around here? In them seeing what others have? And how do we how do we teach that lesson.

Jen DiMatteo  16:21

And know, you know, understanding what we have and being thankful for what we have, I think a really great way is, is getting out in the community with your kids, letting them meet other people, letting them experience different situations, whether that’s volunteering together, whether it’s going to different like arts and like festivals, I think that the more people that they have the end the different lifestyles, and you as the parent pointing out the value and everybody and not making something, monetary value, I think that they start, they start seeing and appreciating all people. I know that my own children, when they’re at our hosts, they take for granted what they have, they’ve always had, they’ve had a fair, you know, respectable house and Mom and Dad always have vehicles that are always running. And then they have as they get older, they have friends who, you know, they come over. And they comment that while your house is really big, and it’s my kids don’t know any different. And they start to recognize things like that. And it’s it we will talk about, well, single family home single parent home, or you know, mom and dad are together. There’s more money coming into the house, you know, we will talk about the obvious things, and helping our children to understand that we all walk a different walk. But we always want them to see the value of all people and our families and our situations at the same time. And I think that that I think that’s helpful.

Cassandra Dorn  18:07

I know Another helpful tool we use in our houses when we clean out toys, books, closets, we do it together. And we sort through and decide, you know, what do we want to give to other areas, daycares schools, you know, what books have we read, that are in great shape still that we can give to other areas and not just throw away? You know, obviously some clothes they need to go but even coats you know, Mom, what do you do with this stuff, we give it away. We give it to people who need it. There’s a lot going on, especially in Wisconsin in the winter, if we have boots, my youngest usually gets the newest boots besides because they’re worn by the time they get to her. And we always try those on. And then if they don’t fit, they are given away. And she noticed that she noticed I was throwing away the ones that she wasn’t getting, because they were so worn. But hers were getting put in the car and taken somewhere. So we have those open conversations of not everyone can have this, you need to understand that we can do good even with the stuff that we’ve used ever so lightly and give to people that they simply can’t

Jen DiMatteo  19:18

know. Absolutely. Volunteering plays a big part in that whether I know we just helped out with Salvation Army. And there was this big event that we were part of. And my kids asked how much money did we help raise and when I was able to give them the answer. I was just like, and I was breaking it down like we raised X amount of dollars, just us in two hours of working together with his team. And that money is helping people who put food on the table or they’re putting warm jackets on their kids or it might be helping with transportation or housing costs. And for them to realize that like I just spent Two hours doing something that is going to make this impact for another family who maybe might not have those things so easily. It was a point of pride for them. And we don’t have to overtalk it right. Right. can let them experience it.

Amanda Chavez  20:15

Yeah, I think it’s important to give in those donation, like those formal ways. But another way that we do with our family, too, is we talked about, we talked a lot about this on our show, right, like modeling behavior. And I think that’s even important when you talk about like, tipping your service people too or people in the service industries. So even like, I think my kids have just always seen us do that—if we see like, even musicians right there, they’re more likely to dig out of their pocket and throw $1 into that for musicians, or when we pick up and get drinks or like, so that’s just things that they’ve seen us do. And so they’re, they’re already picking that and we don’t even talk about it really like they just watching us watching what we’re doing.

Karlene Grabner  20:59

Do things for others. Yeah.

Amanda Chavez  21:03

Sometimes I think people think well, we’re in a, I’m in that same boat, right? Like where are living paycheck to paycheck sometimes, and it’s harder to get like, or I don’t want people to feel guilty, but they’re not giving to those organizations or donating money, you’re still giving in a different way.

Cassandra Dorn  21:22

I think sometimes the smallest gestures to can speak volumes, especially when kids are involved. I asked my kids, you know, do you notice what our bus driver? What does he drink in the morning? Does he drink soda? Does he drink coffee? He has been wonderful to us this year, waiting for my children to run down the driveway. And they asked why. And I said I would like to give him just a small gesture—a thank you—because he’s such a nice person. And he goes over and above, you know, he could back out and leave right away. And he waits for you guys sometimes. And just explaining that it’s nice to do small gestures, it means a lot, and it’s impactful.

Amanda Chavez  22:01

So then, should we talk about the other end of it, right? Like how do we encourage that saving, right? And giving, right? How can parents encourage a practical sense of how money comes into the family, good practices regarding the use of money and how to make a grow and keep it safe? So how do you save some of that money and not just think my kids are in that phase where they just want to give it all out right like, and then they realize they don’t have anything left or?

Cassandra Dorn  22:33

And I think that even the concept of putting money into a bank is hard for them to comprehend, because it seems to be gone. I encourage people to open up bank accounts for their kids, and then they get mailed statements. And every month, when my kids’ statements come in, I hand them to them and say “You can open it; this is your mail. And this is your bank account.” Because it is, and they get excited, you know, they may make a quarter and interest these days, but it’s something to them, and kids love getting mail in general. So I also think that’s a really big bonus is that they’re getting their own piece of mail, it also makes the conversation of saving a little bit easier, because we need to set some aside, right, we have wants, and we have needs, and we need to teach that. And while we as parents provide for most of our kids’ needs to be very honest, their wants don’t need to be all of their allowance, or all of their babysitting money, or all their working money. So in our house, we do take half of what they earn goes into the bank and just to discipline them, that your you know, someday you’re going to be out in the workforce. And you can’t spend everything on once you’re going to have, you know, rent or mortgage or housing, food, all of that. And so by taking some of it now and not allowing them to spend all of it and saving it. You’re enforcing that discipline.

Jen DiMatteo  23:54

I love that and I agree with you completely. And I think it’s it’s age and development driven. So when kiddo kiddos are younger, that 5050 I think is a great starting point need want and let them spend the money that they want relatively, you know, within limits. But then as they get older, they’re maybe preteens and teens and maybe they were like they want to they realize they’re gonna have to put gas in a car and things like that and you’re having those conversations. Well now maybe it’s going into thirds. So need want auto air and you know and as as their their development changes and as their goals change. You can help guide them in that way too. I’m not a financial expert, but it is that life skill building of helping them separate need and want in every

Cassandra Dorn  24:46

kid is different. I mean, I have a saver she’ll get a gift card she will spend four hours in target because she will not want to spend the whole thing and it’s great but it’s frustrating at the same time and then I have a child that is soon as the Tooth Fairy comes, when can we go shopping? You know, so even in my own household, it’s it’s different conversations with different kids. Right?

Karlene Grabner  25:08

Right. Everybody is different. I always struggle with, too, as parents: What’s the right amount of information from our budgeting that we talked about with our kids? You know, is it just again, role modeling the saving and the discipline and things like that? Or? Because sometimes I think I make my field kids feel guilty? Like, do you realize how much this costs? And I don’t mean to do that, and my daughter’s and traveling sports, and it blows my mind how much that cost, but then I feel guilty thinking to myself, that is not on them, it’s on me that I am allowing her to do that, and I’m spending this money. But what is, do you have advice or thoughts on what’s a good balance? So that kind of conversation?

Jen DiMatteo  25:51

I know I think of it, as I’m very fact-based with things like that I am matter of fact. So I don’t want them to have the financial stress or burden that we have as adults. That’s not something we want them to feel. So they do know how much generally my husband and I make. So we, this comes from my husband, by the way, we do talk about, well, I have to work this many hours to pay for that thing. And then we talk about worth and value, is it worth it? And obviously, as they get older and they get a better sense of what that means, it holds more value to them. But, it helps us have conversations of why we do some things, and we might not do others. Because you know, we do have limitations financially that we have to all live within. Yeah.

Cassandra Dorn  26:46

I agree with that. I think it makes me chuckle because I’ve had frank conversations with my older kids, they’ve come home, you know, maybe when they don’t believe in certain things and say, Well, my friends got this much from the tooth fairy, and I never got that much. And I will look at them very frank and say, “Yeah, but you know, you are in travel sports, and maybe the Tooth Fairy understands that other families aren’t in those expensive things.” And in trying to balance it out in, you know, a serious but funny conversation. And if they understand as they get older, I agree, you need to be honest and know your limitations of what you’re comfortable with your kids. But be comfortable sharing certain things because they are going to have to learn it. And they learn the value of money in school. But application sometimes is taught at home and only at home. I mean, I was brought up—my dad was a financial planner as well—so I am comfortable talking about money. I do not have any issue with that, because it’s very, just that’s how it was in my family. Again, my husband’s family was very different. They did not talk about those skills. And so I truly believe the more knowledge you have, and because I’m not shy about it, and even to this day, that’s my job. I do like having those conversations. I have clients who have their kids come in and see me to have frank conversations of what are our goals, you know, this is my first job, what should I be trying to do with my paycheck, and we sit down on an individualized basis, and we go through that. But I like having it in the privacy of my home with my kids. Now kids are going to, you know, grow up and be who they want to be. But to give them a foundation of understanding that, you know, emergencies happen, you have to have the savings. You don’t know when you’re gonna get a flat tire if you want a car or have to take public transport because you don’t have a car and having just these ideas of this is how you have to work for your money. And this is what you need to understand about it. There has to be a safety net. And we have to figure out how to do that. I think it’s important.

Karlene Grabner  29:04

Yeah, I think I think we’ve come a long way generationally and talking honestly about all of that kind of stuff. And frankly, and I hope we have and financial literacy is one of the things that is so important to be teaching our children so important.

Cassandra Dorn  29:20

I mean, I do draw the line. I know some people will get out credit card bills for their kids. I’m not there yet. My kids aren’t old enough yet for me to talk to them about, you know, what we spent, but I do talk about how credit cards work because that was very eye-opening to me. My kids just thought this card, you know, you put it in ATM machine and money comes out. This is great. You know, you go the grocery store, and you put the card in the machine, and you get your groceries, and at one point, they weren’t understanding that a bill comes and that money that I make you put in the bank for savings. I have the same bank account type, and I have to take money out of that to pay these bills and getting them to connect those dots.

Karlene Grabner  30:00

Well, I mean, it is funny to watch kids, my daughter’s 15. So she’s older and watching her understand the value of we have some friends that have chosen a path where everything they do is cash. It’s like, I feel like the Dave Ramsey, everything is cash and everything is paid off. And but there’s discipline in a different way. And then we have other friends that have big, beautiful houses and big beautiful cars. And and my daughter is trying to explain to kids that it’s a philosophy—we all operate differently. And some people believe in credit, some people don’t, some people, you know, spend money on houses and cars, some people go on vacation and have, you know, it’s interesting to watch them understand that.

Cassandra Dorn  30:39

And that’s why I truly believe those conversations are important to have at home because school is not going to talk about this family is going on this vacation because you know, they teach basics, and they do a great job at that. But the philosophy of money is different in every household.

Karlene Grabner  30:55

Right? Right. Well, what

Amanda Chavez  30:57

do you have any tips for families? Like what if you’re sitting here listening? And you’re thinking, Okay, we didn’t have a lot growing up. And we’re now we’re raising these kids, and we’re trying to make it better for them? Like, where can parents get more information about financial literacy? And I think even maybe this is attack on to that question. But I think a lot of people will say, “Go talk to a financial advisor.” But that sounds really scary. Like even when, and when you’re not in a good spot, right to give all your dirty laundry to a financial advisor, like, Are there baby steps or tips or a takeaway for families that think I want to do better for my kids, but I but we’re not doing good.

Cassandra Dorn  31:39

I think it’s a really common misconception that financial advisors are only for people who have money. Again, we weren’t all taught the same. And I think the first step you can do is call someone and have a sit down with them. Money is very personal. And I talked to my clients about this, I could be the best financial advisor in the world, if you are not comfortable with me, the relationship is not going to work because it is a relationship. So I encourage everyone you know, if you have questions, call feel summit financial advisors out in person; our job is to talk to you about those private things behind closed doors, that do not leave our office and put together a plan and make you feel comfortable and give you guidance. I look at what I do very much so as education, and I enjoy it, you know, setting those goals in seeing people get there is it’s rewarding. And so I would not hesitate to call. And you know, don’t take it personally if it’s not the right fit—keep calling. It’s kind of like, you know, finding your life partner or you know, your travel companion. You know, you just move on, and you find it and just know that there are no wrong questions. Everybody has different questions. And everybody thinks differently. And so you need to voice your concerns and your questions and connect with someone who will help you and guide you.

Karlene Grabner  33:08

Great, any last-minute takeaways, Jen, that you would like to share with us after today’s conversation?

Jen DiMatteo  33:13

I think that whether we’re talking about parent education, or financial literacy within the family, I think everything starts with the parents, as role models, realizing that our children are watching what we do not necessarily listening to what we say. And us, whether it’s financial health or lifestyle, health, making sure that we’re always mindful of our little copiers, our little copycats that are watching us through life. I think it’s really valuable. That as long as we’re putting our best foot forward, as long as we’re trying our best, we don’t have to be perfect, but trying our best. We’re giving our kids an advantage. And they’re able to learn by watching us.

Amanda Chavez  33:59

Before we wrap things up, Jen, if local parents would like to dig deeper into exploring Love and Logic, what resources are available?

Jen DiMatteo  34:06

Absolutely. Parent Connection offers parent education works workshops continuously throughout the year. We do have three different Love and Logic curriculums that we’re always we’re always running ones early childhood parenting made fun, and that’s for kids about age two to six. Another one is called Parenting the Love and Logic Way, and that’s for all ages. And there’s a third one called Supporting Youth with Challenging Pasts. And that is also for all ages. These workshops can be found on our website, Family Services of Northeast Wisconsin. We also have a Facebook page for Parent Connection. And we have an email newsletter that I put out at least once a month. 

Karlene Grabner  34:55

Thank you for joining us today. Cassandra and Jen. We appreciate your knowledge on this topic and just discussing parenting and financial fluency and all that in general. We look forward to our next discussion.  

Cassandra Dorn  35:07

Thank you for having us. The opinions voiced in this podcast are for general information only, and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual. To determine which strategies or investments may be suitable for you. Consult the appropriate, qualified professional prior to making the decision; securities and advisory services offered through LPL Financial registered investment advisor member INRA and SIC.

Amanda Chavez  35:34

Visit gooshkoshkids.com and our Facebook page to continue this conversation. Thanks again to our guests, Jennifer Sandra, for sharing their time and knowledge with us. And thanks to our producer Liz Schultz, our audio and video engineer Marlo Ambas, and of course, my co-host, Karlene Grabner and for the support from the Women’s Fund of Oshkosh.

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